1. |
333
01:57
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i stepped out 333 on a weekday night
the walk to the train would be my last
i said goodbye to revolving doors
but i didn't hear 'em say it back
and i know now that you never truly leave hell
it sits on my back, keeps me warm
oh, i know now i am locked up in a cage
but i don't know what I'm in here for
when I fall asleep I want it to stay that way
i don't want to go out
i don't want to go out
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2. |
normal c
02:57
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i think i’ll stay at home today
my bed’s a rock
my muscles are drained
cause outside’s too much on my pressure plate
i just sit and think
feel awful again
feel awful again
i said, don’t you wait for me
if i want to be anonymity
if i have to feel like i can’t be seen
i don’t need to speculate the reasoning
all the time
can i clean my head?
always a mess
i said a line i will regret
two days from now
i can’t know how it ends
i’ll just shower again
i’ll turn the tv off instead
feel awful again
feel awful again
i said, don’t you look at me
that way
it’s hard to have agency
if i have to feel sorta bad everyday
i don’t need to act
or live in normalcy
all the time
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3. |
4 what???
01:10
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for what
am i on this rock?
i know
what i am
i've had enough
death and stuff
i should just make someone feel loved
i've had enough
death and stuff
i wanna watch cartoons in bed
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4. |
nissanweekends
02:06
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went down a rabbit hole of digital grief
side track, re-route, re-map, and find something niche
watch LED screens until your eyes spiral in
and let the clock microdose the seconds
low server hum
have to pay off my Nissan
and schedule some time to see some friends on the weekends
chain chomp myself into gear when i am free
'cause if i lay down the earth will open up and leave me
short form attention pays attention to me
impermanent nature helps make things feel sweet
tasked with the whole day of long listenings
makes the clock microdose the seconds
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5. |
mud
03:16
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i've got a feeling i'm waiting for something that'll never come
desperate measures to self regulate emotions 'til i'm numb
you don't have to know me well to know i'm not hanging around
and i've cut off an arm before
so how bad could it get right now?
how bad can it get right now?
i've got a feeling i'm waiting for something that'll never come
the same good signals in my brain are the ones that you're running from
and my whole system can't go on
flowers hiding from the sun
i will hang my head up high and drag my body through the mud
i don't wanna see ya
i don't want me to
i don't wanna tell ya
i don't know the truth
i don't want to leave ya
i don't want me too
i don't want my future
i don't want it to
i got a feeling i'm waiting for something that'll never come
think i got it, think i got it, think i got it again
i got a feeling i'm waiting for someone that'll never come
think i got it, think i got it, think i got it again
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6. |
whiplash
01:36
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early bird gets the worm
early snow hits the worst
is it fate?
or is it big mistake?
i don't know
where it hurts
i taste a season
a people pleaser
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7. |
treat me nice
01:40
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back to square one
it is a calm i feel well
maybe when i am hurt i feel most like myself
when i leave my place tonight
i leave a piece of me behind
and i don't need you to try and treat me nice
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8. |
soaked in
02:22
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i'm soaked in
laughter and pavement
in an alleyway
it was only a dream
embarrassing
i'm watching the paint dry
and melting ice
all my life
oh i need to buy some self esteem
i'm growing hairs i'm losing teeth
you can't provide and i can't see past you
and i fell free, passed you
though i'm miles away now
i still see the match light
i think of the best i can get away with
i bet on the odds i come out unscathed
i won't ever win but i could still place it
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OK Cool Chicago, Illinois
two tiny tiny rats with a dream of one day becoming human
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